On-call employee reprimanded for her work clothing, even though her boss's wife wears the same outfits to the office: 'She complains to her husband about me needing to cover up'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jul 8, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Are dress codes an outdated relic or a necessary standard?

Dress codes are often a sensitive topic. Whether within schools or at the office, there's usually a certain standard of "respectable" attire expected, especially when we're all trying to stay focused on our academics or job tasks, surrounded by others trying to do the same.

Maybe we can attend Zoom meetings without our pants on, but the office… not so much.

The thing is, dress codes are only unproblematic when everyone sticks to them and there's no visible hypocrisy floating around the office. So what happens when a boss doesn't address an outfit issue directly, but instead sends a message through a friend to reprimand you about what you're wearing?

For context: your role is on-call, which means you have limited time (or none) to go home and change before work. So, what's the correct move here? Do you stay ready in your full work outfit all day, just in case you get called into work, or risk the consequences of your boho-coded, floral crop top that might be putting your job in jeopardy?

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  • Plot twist: The boss’s wife, who works at the same company, owns the same boho, floral crop top. However, when she wears it week after week, the office remains silent enough to hear a pin drop (Normally, because of Margret, she's pretty clumsy and often drops the office stationery)

    Despite her similar fashion choices, she still feels the need to whisper into her husband's ear about the employee's unsuitable outfit decisions for her in-office appearances. 

    So maybe the issue isn’t the outfit at all…but who’s wearing it

  • 01
    “The problem is when I get called in I don't have enough time to go home and change so I have to go in what I'm wearing"
    via gettyimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for not changing my style?

    So I have a job that requires me to go in at any point of the day when I am called in, and most of the time in whatever I am already
    via Mountain_Reserve6585

    AITA for not changing my style?

  • 03
    in while I was out for the day. Now I have a more of a boho type style but it's summer and I've been wearing more crops or
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 04
    tank tops (which they do cover everything I'm not exposed). This has never been a problem until recently when my boss has been
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 05
    asking my friend to tell me to put a shirt on. Let it be known that I am wearing a shirt it is entirely covering my chest minus a small
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 06
    part of my stomach that gets covered up by my uniform after I put it on. The problem is when I get called in I don't have enough
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 07
    time to go home and change so I have to go in what I'm wearing. When I dress the way I do I do it because I feel amazing and it is
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 08
    really what makes me happy so I really don't want to change the way I dress to make them happy. What really makes me upset is
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 09
    that my bosses wife actually. works there too and she wears tank tops and short shorts half the time and she complains to
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 10
    her husband about me needing to cover up. I've talked to some friends and they believe it might just be that I am one of the only other women
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 11
    that work there (there's only four of us total). I just need to know AITA for not wanting to comply to his wife's demands to change?
    via Mountain_Reserve6585
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10526549248
    via volodymyrmelnykphotos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    ProfessionalShort 108 NTA. If they are expecting you to drop everything, then this sounds like an emergency type job. What you're wearing is the least of the concern. And the fact that your boss isn't even the one asking you make it so much worse. If he has an issue, he can talk to you directly. It's childish and unprofessional to send messages through your friend
    via ProfessionalShort108
  • 14
    gimmeluvin It's absurd for an employer to mandate your attire outside of working hours. If you change into a uniform and wear it during your shift, you have fulfiled your obligation.
    via gimmeluvin
  • 15
    Opening gambit NTA - this seems like a pretty dysfunctional place with the wife getting jealous of the employees. It's also really weird that he is asking your friend to tell you, instead of just making a standard dress code. They are targeting you specifically, so I would try and find a new job as a soon as possible.
    via Opening_gambit
  • 16
    ninaa1 INFO: why is your boss not speaking with you directly if there is an issue?
    via ninaa1
  • 17
    Crazy-Al-2855 Them expecting you to be ready for work when on call is not insane especially if you are being paid to be on call.
    via Crazy-AI-2855
  • 18
    On_my_last_spoon What kind of job do you have that is on call like this? NTA and I hope you get paid well enough to put up with this
    via On_my_last_spoon
  • 19
    icutmybangsagain NTA, but dont be surprised if they fire you (unfortunately)
    via icutmybangsagain
  • 20
    Future-Win4034 Are you an ER doctor that is being called in for emergency surgery? If not, you have time to change and put on what the people who are paying you want you to wear.
    via Future-Win4034
  • 21
    lindseys 10 So make the time to go home to change and make them wait. That's what id do lol
    via lindseys10
  • 22
    Extension-Issue3560 If you like your job...you do as your boss asks you.... You don't have to like it, and it doesn't have to be fair....but they're the boss. Keeo a change of clothes in your car.
    via Extension-Issue3560
  • 23
    Rosemarysage5 NTA, but you could easily solve this by carrying a change of clothes in a bag, or leaving a change at work. Even if it's just a long t shirt
    via Rosemarysage5

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terrible coworkers boss antiwork workplace-stories dress code employee work-drama drama work coworkers wife askreddit on call in trouble Office clothing workplace Horrible Bosses Reddit
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